


You Crack Me Up

by alkalineiero



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 01:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6449197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkalineiero/pseuds/alkalineiero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I feel like every year I get older I have more shit to be responsible for, like, fuck. I know that’s life and maybe I should get used to it, but it’s all moving too fast, G.” Frank’s face became half hidden by his knees again as his head rested down, his eyes staring out into the dark surrounding them.</p><p>Fuck this. No way was Gerard having Frank feel like shit. He sprang to his feet, tossing away the cigarette that he hadn’t even given any attention to, and grabbed Frank by the arm, pulling him up. </p><p>“C’mon. Got an impromptu gift for you, Frankie.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I dedicate this to Leah for helping me create this mess. Also for pushing me to write and actually publicise this.
> 
> Also this is my first fic so be nice about it. Cheers.

The room was overcrowded and way too fucking hot, in Gerard’s opinion. Even doing the usual lifting your head for one gulp of air didn’t seem to be working in this case, and fuck it, Gerard just couldn’t enjoy himself. Squeezing himself through the sea of sweaty, costumed bodies he made a bee line for the doors leading to the outside patio, one hand trying to keep his beer from spilling onto any fucker not moving out of his way, the other trying to fish into the pockets of his black pants for that crumpled box of cigarettes he desperately craved. 

It was Halloween, the house behind him blaring music of some sort of dance club genre, the bass making the ground beneath him quiver. The party wasn’t just the usual costume party, it was Frank’s birthday, although where the little fucker had gone Gerard had no idea. Surely he’d be in there downing some sort of cocktail or beer and celebrating. 

The cold air outside hit Gerard like a tonne of bricks in the best way possible, the sweat starting to form under his Dracula cape soon helping to cool off his body as he lit the cigarette balanced between his lips. Taking a drag, Gerard noticed a small figure sat alone amongst the few sparse bodies out here with them, most with a partner, just smoking, or throwing up in the bushes Gerard noted with a small shudder. He didn’t need to approach the lone figure to know it was Frank, his Chucky style striped shirt standing out even in the scant lighting, but when Frank caught his eye he wasn’t met with the blinding grin he usually is, instead it was just a barely noticeable, but pretty weak, smile. Something wasn’t right. 

“You okay there, Frankie?” Gerard spoke out softly as he made his way over, his cigarette now forgotten between his fingers.

“I guess.” 

“What’s up?” Gerard sat beside him on the hard patio, trying to ignore his ass screaming at the cold ground as he did.

“Just...not feeling it, I suppose.” And woah, okay, this wasn’t right at all. Frank lived for Halloween, he practically built his entire year around it. For fucks sake he even had the word tattooed across his knuckles. For him to not feel at least a little excitement on this day was like a vampire hating blood. Not fucking likely. Looking over at the small man in front of him Gerard felt a stab of pain in his heart, here was his best fucking friend, who he had totally not daydreamed about being more on multiple occasions, and he was fucking sad, on his own goddamn birthday. Who the fuck has to feel sad on their birthday? What kind of asshole deity decided that Frank-motherfucking-Iero, of all people in this world, was going to feel sad on his birthday? Gerard was beginning to question whether fate was such a great thing after all, everyone seems to rave about the thing, but if this was supposedly “fate” then Gerard thinks this “fate” can go fuck itself.

He was suddenly shaken from his internal argument with the forces unknown by Frank letting out a small sigh, speaking up again as he picked at the dungarees he was wearing. God, not only had life decided to be an asshole to Frank on his birthday, but whilst he was wearing dungarees too. Motherfucker. 

“I feel like every year I get older I have more shit to be responsible for, like, fuck. I know that’s life and maybe I should get used to it, but it’s all moving too fast, G.” Frank’s face became half hidden by his knees again as his head rested down, his eyes staring out into the dark surrounding them.

Fuck this. No way was Gerard having Frank feel like shit. He sprang to his feet, tossing away the cigarette that he hadn’t even given any attention to, and grabbed Frank by the arm, pulling him up. 

“C’mon. Got an impromptu gift for you, Frankie.” With that, he pulled Frank round the side of the house, no way was he dragging him through the mass of drunk bodies again, and lead him to the dimly lit street. Frank stumbled along behind him, not saying much and just simply allowing Gerard to drag him along the path, only frowning when he was left outside a convenience store. What the fuck was he up to? He wasn’t left with that thought for long as Gerard soon came strolling out with a bag of, what were those, eggs? 

“Yknow, I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I’d rather you not try and cook something. I don’t want to die of food poisoning on my birthday.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Gerard threw back, although he was smiling and he could hear Franks own in the playful tone of his voice, “You can’t even fucking die from food poisoning. I’m not that bad.”

“Oh, really? Shall we reflect on your past successes?” 

“Fuck you, Iero.” Frank fucking giggled and Gerard felt butterflies in his stomach. That laugh could cure disease, Gerard was sure of it. It was the only thing Gerard wanted to hear in life, and to know he was the one to cause it made his heart swell (even if it was because of his past failures – but he wasn’t going to dwell on that now). 

It was a little while later when they arrived at their destination, Gerard having pulled a confused Frank around houses and alleyways, through trees and along streets without giving a hint of where they were. Frank peered around them, it wasn’t really lit well enough for him to read any street signs, if any were actually around, but it wasn’t dark enough that Frank couldn’t spot the detail of the house that loomed in front of them. He felt he knew this place, but every street in Jersey looks the same so he couldn’t be sure, he didn’t much care when Gerard was invading his every thought with his clammy body pressed against Frank’s side and shoving a carton of eggs in his hands. It became apparent to Frank then just what Gerard had in mind.

“Gee, what the fuck? We can’t egg somebody’s home!” Frank hissed, he suddenly became aware of the other houses around them, any eyes that could be watching them ready to bust their asses. As much as Frank hadn’t liked the party, explaining that he was a fully grown man egging some unsuspecting persons house to the cops wasn’t exactly his idea of a better solution. 

“Sure we can! They’re not home, Frankie. You said yourself you have too many responsibilities, live a little while you can. It’s your fucking birthday.” Gerard spoke low to Frank, sure this was his idea but he’d rather not wake up the neighbours and cause complications. Plus the quiet night made an easy excuse to lean close and whisper to Frank, which Gerard would happily take part in. Any reason to be up close and personal to the subject of his dirty dreams was a reason Gerard was happy to give.

It was Gerard who threw an egg first, catching Frank off guard and earning a playful punch on the arm from him. Admittedly it was a pretty shit throw, landing on the doorstep rather than the actual house, but it pushed Frank to reach for one himself and land it against the top right window. They decided placing the multiple cartons across the yard was a much better tactic, they could then throw their whole body into tossing the shells at the windows and brick walls. Frank was fucking buzzing after the first few had been tossed, eagerly reaching down to grab another and creating a (totally unreliable and unfair) points system depending on where their egg landed. 

Gerard stopped after they had finished the first carton, getting lost in the way Franks body twisted with each throw, his tattoos wrapping around the skin of his bare arms after he had rolled up his sleeves, and the slight glisten of his spit covered tongue which occasionally poked out as he aimed. He hadn’t realised how much he was staring until he noticed Frank staring back, a playful look in his eyes as he raised an eyebrow. Gerard internally shook his head, snapping himself out of his daze before attempting to flash an innocent smile back at Frank, which seemed to do the trick as he turned to throw the last egg he held at the house. Gerard then turned his attention back to task at hand, busying himself with choosing and grabbing an egg, lest he stare at Frank for too long and get lost in the thoughts of his skin which he really did not need. Just as his hand reached forward he felt his fingers brush against Franks tattooed and calloused ones, and fuck if that wasn’t a goddamn scene in a cheesy love movie then Gerard didn’t know what was. Attempting to control the fucking blush that had crept onto his face, which was so mortifying for Gerard it only caused more redness to grow there, he cleared his throat, pulling back his hand.

“S-sorry, Frankie.”

“It’s okay.” Frank had returned to standing over him, his eyes fixated on Gerard as he held the egg in his palm, and he could easily see the red spreading across Gerard’s cheeks. Gerard could have sworn he saw the corner of his mouth twitch up into a smirk. Asshole. 

"Here.” Frank tossed the egg over to Gerard, causing him to flail his hands out to catch it.

Of course, Gerard hadn’t embarrassed himself enough with the fucking staring, the blushing at their hands merely brushing together, but now his chest was covered in cold, sticky egg fluids. Gerard had dreamt many times before of having a certain sticky fluid on him when Frank was around, but egg wasn’t the one he had planned on. Yet here he was, his black shirt now becoming crisp with slowly drying yolk and his hands littered in shell fragments and some funky chicken goo. Like some sort of ectoplasm...eggtoplasm, fuck this isn’t the time to be making puns. Fuck you, brain. Cursing himself he stood up to be met with a doubled over Frank, his face red as he fucking pissed himself laughing. 

“S’not funny, asshole.” Gerard murmured, looking around for anywhere to wipe his hands off. He just needed this crap off him now, he doesn’t even like eggs cooked, let alone on his fucking skin and cold. He was suddenly met with Frank taking his wrists, his hands warm and soft, contrasting to the piercing cold. Frank just carefully wiped Gerard’s palms over the front of his dungarees, letting the stuff smear over the material. It really wasn’t helping much, but the way Frank’s eyes were trained on him, Gerard didn’t much care. There was a weird lingering moment where neither of them moved, Frank still keeping a firm grip on his wrists but not brushing his palms on the fabric anymore. After little success wiping the egg off of Gerard’s hands, and Gerard trying to hide his erratic breathing, Frank pulled back, almost snapping out of whatever trance he seemed to be in before. Bending down Frank grabbed the final carton of eggs (and yeah, Gerard may have snuck a glance at his ass, despite the weird situation that had just passed) and handed one to Gerard, their skin meeting again when it was dropped into his outstretched palm. They were silent for the moment, Frank simply watching Gerard as he aimed and threw the egg, it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, just one that follows when an intimate moment has passed. 

“Fuck it.” Gerard mumbled quietly, his aim was pointed at the circular window situated in the middle of the house, but it ended up hitting the pipe running along the far right. He then felt another egg being thrust into his hand and Frank moving behind him, taking his elbow and shifting it. 

“You gotta put your body into it Gee, you’ll pull your fucking shoulder otherwise. Lean back a little. it’s okay, I got you.” Frank was speaking softly somewhere behind Gerard, and his words were sending small shivers all the way up his spine. I got you. Gerard leant back, feeling his shoulders meet Frank’s before he found familiar fingers resting on his hip, keeping him study. Glancing down, he spotted ween scrawled across the knuckles and on any other day that would have amused Gerard, made him tease Frank over it, but it’s not any other day that he’s alone with Frank’s body securely against his back. Fuck, fuck, fuck, okay. All the sensors of Gerard’s skin were detecting warmth in the form of Frank, another being added when the other tattooed hand covered his own, bringing his arm back, his face so close to Gerard he could feel Frank’s breathing on the shell of his ear. He could feel Frank’s heartbeat through his chest, slower than Gerard’s but still abnormally quick. They moved their bodies in unison, both leaning back then jolting forward as the egg flew from their entwined hands hitting the original target square in the centre. They stood together, Frank staying attached to Gerard a moment too long for it to be considered a friendly mistake. Gerard won’t deny the pang of disappointment when their bodies separated, his back now being met with empty space instead of the secure wall of Frank’s chest.

.

They finished off the rest of the eggs, Gerard occasionally feigning helplessness just for Frank to touch him again. Frank could see straight through his act. He knew Gerard was incompetent but the now exaggerated failure of Gerard’s eggs hitting the house was a little ridiculous. As they began walking back, Frank shoved his hands between his dungarees and shirt for warmth, smiling at Gerard.

“I think you managed to get worse as the night went on. How do you manage that?”

“It’s a skill. Takes years to master.” 

“Yeah? Maybe you should help me out with that, it’s pretty endearing.” Gerard’s heart fucking skipped a beat and he’s pretty sure he stumbled over his own goddamn feet as they walked back to Frank’s place. Frank bite on the inside of his cheek to stifle a laugh, he knew how to wind Gerard up and was fully exercising that tonight. 

.

They thought nothing of the party still going on, simply avoiding it to make their way into Frank’s house. He insisted Gerard stay the night, also making him stay in his bed as he argued “You’re not fucking sleeping on the couch like we’re an argumentative couple. Plus, it’s fucking cold.” It wasn’t really much of an argument, although Gerard tried not to sound too enthusiastic about sleeping in his boxers next to Frank...also in his boxers. This could potentially pose problems, but Gerard had masked a shit load of feelings and actions tonight, surely he could for a little while longer.

Gerard slipped under the covers of Frank’s bed, the sheets cool but not cold against his skin. He watched Frank emerge from the bathroom, wiping residue toothpaste from the corner of his mouth and climbing in opposite Gerard. Clothed in only sweatpants his chest tattoos were on show, whether this was a bonus Gerard found hard to judge. This was really no different to anything they’d experienced on tour, in fact it was much less intimate, well physically, in every other way they had never been closer. Frank shifted his body over so the tips of their noses were practically touching, his breathing easy and soothing.

“Thank you. For tonight, I mean. I really appreciate it.” His voice was steady and calm, Gerard knew his wasn’t going to match, but he tried anyway.

“You’re welcome. I-, uh, I’m glad you had fun.”

It was silent again. Frank flashed a warm, affectionate smile and closed his eyes. Gerard watched him, he knew it was probably creepy but he didn’t care. Frank’s face was peaceful as he slept. Gerard thought if there was anytime to do it, it was now. Leaning over carefully he pressed his lips to the corner of Frank’s mouth, heart racing in his chest even when the smaller man was asleep and unaware of his actions. 

“Happy birthday, Frankie.” 

He slowly closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep besides his best friend. Frank’s mouth quirked up into a small smile.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follow up to You Crack Me Up.  
> Takes place the morning after.

Frank had insisted that Gerard let Frank drive him home. It was the least he could do, he said. Reluctantly, Gerard agreed. He had already been supplied with warm coffee and affectionate glances across the kitchen that morning, he took everything in his power not to just melt on the spot. Everything was perfect, if the ride home could be the same then Gerard supposed it couldn’t be the end of the world.

They were pulling up outside Gerard’s house, Frank turning the engine of the car off and sitting there for a moment, flashing a smile at his friend. Just as Gerard was climbing out the car he felt Frank bound out beside him, he turned, slight panic starting to settle in his chest. It must have shown for Frank to frown at him.

“Hey, you said you would lend me Doom Patrol. A deal’s a deal, G. I’m not letting you get away with it.” He started to push Gerard towards the door of his house, walking with him across the path. Honestly, he was looking like Frank had just pulled down his pants in front of the whole town. What the fuck was he even bothered about? Frank had seen his house at its worst, and it was a fucking traumatic experience, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle again. Gerard wasn’t this nervous last time anyway, he didn’t understand-

He stopped in his tracks, having stumbled a little after hearing a crunch under his shoe. He hoped to God it wasn’t a fucking snail or something, he’d be feeling bad for hours. Peering at the source of the noise Frank found that it wasn’t a snail.

It was an egg shell. 

It was a chicken egg shell. The ones you would find in cartons at the convenience store. 

Frank crouched down and picked it up, slowly turning on his heels to see the house of his best friend. The house that was fucking splattered with egg. 

“That house last night. The house we egged. It was yours?”

Gerard shuffled on the spot, his heart pounding in his chest as he flushed pink. He felt like a helpless ant that had been singled out by a kid with a fucking magnifying glass, he kinda wished the kid would just step on him and quickly rid him of the slow torture. 

“Gerard?” He blinked up at the mention of his name, realising he had been silent for a few minutes now. 

Clearing his throat he mumbled out a quiet, “Y-yeah, it was. I didn’t know whose house was safe to egg, Frank. I just wanted to find one and make you happy, not be interrupted by angry homeowners.”

Frank was speechless. Who does that for someone? Before he knew it he had Gerard wrapped up in his arms, his face buried against his soft neck as he spoke.

“You have a weird way of showing affection, G Way.” Good job it’s fucking captivating he didn’t add.

"Seriously though, you’d let mouldy egg live on your house just for me? That’s fucking gross.” Frank pulled back just enough to pull a disgusted face at Gerard. He looked offended.

“I would have cleaned it!” 

“Like fuck you would.” Frank couldn’t help the smile growing on his face, his arms tightening around the taller man’s shoulders as he murmured a “thank you” by his ear, leaving a small and tender kiss on his cheek. His lips lingered too long for it to be any friendly sign of affection. Gerard’s breath hitched and he turned his head towards Frank, their cheeks brushing together as they stood there.

“C’mon,” Frank announced, pulling away from him, much to Gerard’s dismay. “We gotta clean up after ourselves.” He threaded his fingers through a dried chunk of egg in Gerard’s hair, taking his hand and leading him inside. “You need a shower too.” Gerard groaned, but that only earned him a small squeeze of his hand and Frank kissing the corner of his mouth, murmuring “I’ll make it worth your while.”  
And fuck if Gerard was going to say no to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading these, I really appreciate it. I happily accept criticism and feedback too.


End file.
